The Next Food Network...Moderately-Competent Cook?

This show is one of my guilty pleasures this season, although it's getting more and more painful to watch. Last week, Adam - a contestant who was openly called a "bozo" by Suzie Fogelson, Food Network's VP of Marketing - stayed on even though Bob Tuschman, the senior VP of programming and production, told him that with the exception of one dish his food "has not been good." The one dish Adam has done well in the entire competition? Cheese fries. I'm no food snob and I don't have anything against cheese fries. I love potatoes, especially when they're deep fried and loaded with cheese and sour cream. But frankly, cheese fries are dorm food. How is the ability to cook that a qualification for being the next major TV "chef"?

Even Adam is not the worst, however. Jennifer, a single mom, has been guilty of creating such culinarily-confused dishes as mashed potato pizza, which I swear she called on camera a "healthier way to eat pizza" because it was low-carb. Mashed potato pizza, folks. Not surprisingly, she was finally sent home this week after a disastrous broken-glass incident in the kitchen.

On Sunday, the remaining finalists are competing in yet another challenge to prove their mettle as chefs. The assignment? Cook in front of a live studio audience with Rachael Ray. Those of you who frequently read my blog know I harbor no love for Ms. Ray, and I'm consistently irritated by her lackadaisical, sloppy, and uninformed approach to cooking. Yet she's a Food Network darling, and I think The Next Food Network Star explains why. Contestants whom the judging panel openly admit do not cook good food stay in the competition while others go home for not being "authentic personalities." But on a network devoted to food, shouldn't both count? If you have an oversize personality but all you can cook well is cheese fries, shouldn't that be a sign that you probably don't belong on your own cooking show?

The answer, at least on the Food Network, is no. After all, the last winner of this competition was Guy Fieri, whose claim to fame is his not-found-in-nature haircolor and his ability to eat six-pound hamburgers on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. And this is the network that rocketed Rachael Ray, that cross-contaminating queen of food misinformation and ignorance, to fame. Now she's going to be responsible for sending one person home, and that person will likely know more than she does about food. Which, granted, may not be saying much.

Personally, I'm rooting for the 19-year-old Shane. And when a 19-year-old is the best-informed chef on TV, it's a sad day for food, folks.