Really, Food Network?

Those of you who know me know that I have a "thing" for the Food Network. It's often sort of akin to watching a train wreck: horrific, but impossible to look away from. It's a case of it being so bad it's almost good. So allow me to share with you the latest news in Food Network's programming lineup, straight from the horse's mouth, as it were:

"The Chef Jeff Project, an inspirational series in which drug-dealer-turned-chef Jeff Henderson works with kids who want to be cooks."

Because a former drug dealer should definitely be the one cooking our childrens' meals. Who wants to bet there are magic brownies on the menu?

In other Food Network news, Rachael Ray has decided to give us recipes for dog food. No, apparently she doesn't think the...well, let's be nice and call it "food"...she's been producing for the last five years qualifies. She means meals you can cook for the family and share with the dog. (Apparently, leftovers aren't good enough for your precious pup.) Recipes include "Power Pooch Smoothies" and "Real Dogs Eat Quiche." The latter includes half-and-half and breakfast sausage. Both recipes say they serve four. I'm guessing this is not based on Beagle owners.